Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Mommy Wars, No One Wins

Parenting is full of personal choices. We set out to do the very best we can, and though we fall short sometimes, we are all doing what we believe is in the best interest of our children. If our kids were born with instruction manuals it would make things much easier, but that is not the case. All children and families are different, and so it is absurd to think the same thing will work for everyone.

Some women cannot or choose not to breastfeed, and there is nothing wrong with that. Some moms earn a paycheck, and some don't. Some moms have the patience of a saint, and some don't (me!). Some moms are tolerant of running, screaming craziness in their house and some need peace and quiet with complete order, and both are fine choices. Some moms clean once a day, some once a month. Some moms require their children to call adults ma'am and sir, some give chores, some serve only organic food, some co-sleep, some cry-it-out, some spank, some use time-outs, some have only one child, some have eight children, some have adopted children, some have special needs children, some send their kids to public school, some to preschool, some homeschool and some attend public school. The choices are endless.

I don't know where your identity lies, but I can tell you it's probably not in your role as a mother. My identity is based on being a child of God and having a relationship with Jesus. That is who I am and it should influence all the other areas and roles in my life, including how I view another mother's choices-no matter how different they are from my own.

We have to stop running the mommy race and realize that we're in this together instead of in competition. We need to support each other and respect the decisions we have all made. I have never met a mom who wanted anything less than the best for her kids and I'm lucky to have learned every bit of valuable knowledge I have from my mommy friends. You are all doing a fabulous job! Give yourself and everyone else a break, after all there isn't a trophy for the winner (or chocolate).

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