The Real Cost of Your Gym Membership

I love joining a gym! I think it's fun to go workout and I actually enjoy those monster kick-your-butt cardio machines, even the stairmaster. But last year I took a good hard look at our fitness expenses and decided in favor of canceling to replace with the physical labor of tending a garden, here's why:

• The cost of our "family" membership was $75/month even though I was the only one working out.
• We were spending about $3.50 round trip on gas for EACH visit to the gym (we live about 10 miles away)
• We were spending an extra 45 minutes on travel time and signing in/out of the childcare for each visit
• The REAL cost each month was more like $130

Once we replaced that time spent at the gym with working outside in our garden, this is what we found:

• We were still getting a great workout, maybe better--try tilling all of that soil and shoveling two truckloads of dirt to fill your garden beds!
• The cost of seeds, soil and even raised beds was still less than we were paying for our gym membership-plus the beds are a one-time purchase so this year there is hardly any expense at all.
• We grew tons of fruits and vegetables, saving us hundreds of dollars! Strawberries alone, we picked $77 worth (based on the price at our local u-pick strawberry farm, we used their old buckets to measure) plus gas to get there and back (45 minutes away).
• You can still grow food even if you don't know anything about gardening, just get some good dirt and throw some seeds in-you will be sure to get something!
• Our kids have learned so much about planting and harvesting food, and it's been a great learning experience for them.

Considering the money we are no longer spending to go to the gym plus the money we've saved by growing some of our own food, I've calculated we are saving somewhere between $1,800-$2,200 this year alone. We did have the initial spending of $500 on 10 raised beds, but if you don't have sandy soil like we do then you may not need to make this purchase.

Now let's compare the difference over ten years. After ten years of having a gym membership I would have spent around $15,600 and have nothing to show for it. After ten years of gardening I will have SAVED about $20,000, served my family more fresh/organic fruits and veggies and will still have the garden beds, tools and knowledge learned over that time. I will also have given my kids two gifts: the skills to grow their own food and quality time spent working together as a team. (This past weekend we planted all 10 beds, 100 herb pots and built a mini-greenhouse and they were so excited to help shovel, carry, plant and now look for the sprouts to come up). If your goal is to get in shape, you will achieve this either way if you truly devote the same amount of time to working in your garden as you were to working out at the gym.

*Disclaimer: when my daughter was an infant, my son was 18 months and my husband was often out-of state on business trips, I NEEDED that gym membership for sanity reasons. More often than not, I would head to the sauna instead of the treadmill and take a short nap out of exhaustion and the desire to sit without anyone climbing on me. If you have small kids and your gym membership is your break time, please ignore everything I just said and go take a nap!

Stop Fixing Your Kid

Every adult I know has likes and dislikes. No one enjoys everything in life, whether it's food, hobbies or fears we all find some things unpleasant or uncomfortable. And here's the thing, WE CAN'T HELP IT.

I don't choose to hate seafood, but that doesn't keep many people from trying to talk me into loving it. Gee thanks for the pep talk, my taste buds have completely changed now. I never made the choice to enjoy football games more than chick flicks, but I do. Despite the extreme sports I've tried (including skydiving and bungee jumping) I will never scuba dive, even in a pool, because it terrifies me. My husband can tell me a hundred times that certain snakes are not dangerous, but they will always be a phobia of mine. It's just the way I am, it's what makes me "me".

You would never think about "fixing" all of these characteristics in your best friend, so why do we do it to our children? I do believe in encouraging my children to try new things. But once they've tried it and expressed their dislike, I need to respect that. Otherwise I'm sending them the message that who they are already isn't good enough. This doesn't mean I let my kids avoid vegetables, I just make sure I'm either serving a veggie everyone likes or offering an alternative veggie for others. I don't try to reason with them and explain the science behind it if they tell me thunder is scary. Instead I offer comfort and encouragement for being brave when they're scared. Most importantly, I try to never criticize their dislikes or fears regardless of how unreasonable or illogical it may seem to me, it's their reality and they need me to support them.

So the next time you feel your frustration growing because of a "problem" you don't agree with, remember how frustrating it can be on the other side when someone close to you doesn't take your fear seriously. And if your child learns you're not listening to them now, what are the chances they'll still be sharing with you when they're a teenager?

A Note of Encouragement To My Fellow SAHM's

Nothing brings out the opinions of others like parenthood, as I'm sure you've noticed even complete strangers will feel comfortable offering you all sorts of unsolicited (and sometimes unwelcome) advice. It still amazes me how often people comment on my decision to stay home with my children as opposed to continuing my career and enrolling them in daycare.

Now let me first be very clear, I am absolutely not saying all moms should stay at home with their children and/or it's the "right" choice. The purpose of this post is only to tell you fellow stay-at-home moms to ignore other people's opinions and remind you of what an amazing job you're doing!

Sometimes people don't get it, why would you choose to give up an exciting career to change diapers and wipe noses all day? For the chance to be present for all of your child's "firsts", for the opportunity to be the primary role model and teacher in your child's life, and because we only have our children in our homes for a short time and we want to make the most of it. And what is shocking to many people, we actually enjoy spending time with our children. Most people do, but I've also seen plenty of moms (including SAHM's) who daily can't wait to hand their kid over to childcare, a relative, a program, or anyone else the majority of the time. When these outlets shut down for a week around the holidays and in the summer, these parents are tearing their hair out in frustration because it's only "them and their kids" for the week. That's our house every week, and I have a husband who works long hours and travels for work, sometimes making it only "me and the kids" for the week. Why would I choose to spend this time with them and then hand them off to someone else to raise them? Don't get me wrong, my children are involved in a church class and gymnastics class (each once a week) and they really enjoy both. But that's three hours total, the rest of the week it's up to me to create fun activities and special moments. Last night we brought the kids along to a meeting and decided to have an evening picnic--it was cold, dark and our dinner was pizza but the kids LOVED it! I try to remind myself each week that it doesn't have to be perfect, just remember what is important and why I chose this career in the first place.

Don't let anyone make you feel like you took a step down when you traded in your fancy title for "mommy", you must have been humble to put your pride aside for your children's benefit and I commend you for that. It takes sacrifice to live in this way, you won't get any recognition or financial rewards and you will never get a promotion, but I promise that you could not be investing  your time into anything better!

Valentine's Day Giveaway!

Congratulations to Charlene the winner of The I Like Book For Couples!

What do you get a man for Valentine's Day? Especially when you've likely completed his tool collection at Christmas and between little ones and finances, a weekend getaway is just not an option. I struggle with this every year and usually choose something with dark chocolate, always a hit. This year my husband would be opening a copy of The I Like Book for Couples with his chocolate, if I hadn't already given it to him for our anniversary last fall.

What a gem of a book this is, there are so many wonderful things about it! There is plenty of space for each spouse to write something he/she likes about the other for everyday of the year, and even some pages for including cute pictures of the two of you. I already know one of my husband's love languages is "words of affirmation", so this is a good way to make sure he's feeling loved through my positive words about him. It's also pretty exciting to sit down and see what he's written about me, and sometimes I'm surprised (and thrilled!) by the entries. Now matter how busy we get, it's easy to find 30 seconds to write a sentence at the end of the day, and it's so important to us to make our marriage a priority.

The authors, Lance and Meredith Looney, are a married couple who first began writing "I likes" to eachother on pieces of paper. It was such a rewarding experience that they decided to turn it into a book! Lance and Meredith even offer a money-back guarantee on the book's ability to make a difference in your relationship, how often do you see an author do that?

My husband and I will definitely be making this an annual purchase for our anniversary, how fun these will be to look back on and read together in 25 years! 

Books can be purchased for $19.95 at http://www.theilikebook.com/

Guess what? One lucky reader will win a free copy of The I Like Book for Couples!

All you need to do to enter the drawing is "like" their facebook page and comment below when that's complete!
https://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/theilikebook?sk=wall

You may have one additional entry for sharing either this post or my facebook post regarding this giveaway on your own facebook page. Once you have done so, comment below and let me know. Thanks and good luck!

*Drawing closes and a winner will be drawn using random.org on Thursday, January 12th at 8:00 pm EST.

I feel the need...the need to read!

I absolutely love reading, it's one of my favorite things to do when I get a few minutes to myself (which isn't all that often with little ones!). Books are one of the few items I will continue to purchase if I find a good deal, no matter how many we already own. I believe we can never have enough and I would be perfectly content to cover our walls in bookshelves and live in a library. So when I saw the Livingsocial deal ($25 for $75 to spend at a local used book store) I didn't even hesitate. I headed out this morning for some much needed "me time" in search of this book store, but not sure what to expect.

Enter, The Book Dispensary-it was like the book-lover version of a visit to the spa! I spent over two hours browsing through the books and easily could have spent the entire day, the shelves just kept going and going and the store was much larger than it looked. James, the owner was so kind, helpful and even offered me bottled water-I can't remember the last time I had customer service like this! He even printed my voucher for me to use today since we have no means of printing at the moment due to our home computer dying this week. They also have a free "watch for paperbacks" service-if you can't find a title you're looking for just let them know and they'll keep an eye out. When it comes in they'll contact you and let you know!

In addition to the great deals I found today, I learned that The Book Dispensary will take any books you would like to bring in and give you store credit. For paperbacks you will get half of the list price, for hardbacks you will get half of the anticipated selling price (I believe they start at list price and then are discounted with colored stickers the longer they are there). Also, be sure to mention you are a new customer and you will receive a card good for a free book (up to $7.99 list value) EACH WEEK for the first four weeks after your visit! I have a bunch of books I'm ready to pass on but don't have the time to deal with selling online, this will make it so easy. Your credit can be applied towards half of your total, and if you buy paperbacks an additional 40% will come off after that.

Here is a picture of my treasures, I couldn't seem to fit them all into one picture so there is one in the bottom right hand corner that got cut off but you can get a good idea of what I found for the kids.

If you live in the Columbia area, The Book Dispensary is located only about a mile from the zoo at 710-C Gracern Rd. Store hours are 10-6, Monday-Saturday. If you'd like to grab the Livingsocial deal it is still available for 4 more days: http://share.livingsocial.com/deals/213836?rpi=42132548&ref=personalized-link-box-42132548&rui=3086852   (If you are outside the Columbia area, it's well worth your time to look for a used bookstore like this one, especially one that offers store credit for your books.)

Compared with shopping at one of the big chain book stores, you'll pay much less, get far better service and your money will go to a worthy local small business-everyone wins! Does this count towards my New Years Resolution? ;-)

New Years Resolutions

I have been pondering my New Years Resolution for 2012 several months now. Obviously, I would love for my health to get better so I can get back to blogging regularly and a "normal" schedule again, but at this point I don't have much control over that. I have decided instead to keep it simple, attainable and something that will make my family's life and hopefully some of the world a tiny bit better, here is my goal:

To be a better steward of our money.

That might sound strange since you know I already coupon, yard sale and buy everything on sale, you could be thinking "what else can she be doing???" After considering the economy (it's not getting better anytime soon), the companies our money is going to, and the economic situation of people worldwide, I came up with three parts to my resolution.

1. Get back on the coupon train. No huge revelations here, I've been very lazy about getting to the drug stores, using coupons regularly at the grocery store and relying on my stockpile the last few months. The result is I haven't saved us as much money and I haven't had as many items to donate. This is a priority and I will find the time to do it each week.

2. Purchase from brands and companies that are making responsible choices, helping others and taking care of their employees. Bonus points if they donate their profits to charity (Newman's Own). A good conversation with my sister in law over the holidays drew the question, are we really being good stewards of our money if we support companies that run sweatshops? The second part of this is to buy local when I can--produce, meat, small businesses, etc. These are all things I've done on a small scale for years but have not been diligent about.

3. Give, give and give some more. I will confess, I've been pretty grumpy about our ugly linoleum kitchen floor and mismatched downstairs flooring lately, among many other things I would like to update. I see friends with brand new houses and shiny pretty things and I want them too. Then I met a recently homeless family with two kids living in a 12' X 12' apartment with roaches and not enough food to eat even though the father has worked every single day for almost two months (including Christmas) and it brings me to my knees in thanks for all of the blessings we have. It also makes me think about how we normally give. We take care of our needs and make sure we're comfortable, then we give. This year we're going to be a tad less comfortable (cancel cable, turn the thermostat down a little and put on an extra layer, give up eating out and only cook at home, etc) and hopefully we'll be able to pass on the blessings that have been given to us to people in need both locally and internationally.

Do me a favor the next time you see me and ask how my resolution is going. I need and want to be held accountable for this one, especially since we decided when I became a stay at home mom that Chris's job is to make the money and my job is to make the money go as far as possible. I now realize our spending is not independent and it needs to go "as far as possible" for the rest of the world too, my financial choices have an effect on others-how did it take me 31 years to learn this?

MYTH: I'm too broke to go on vacation!

My husband and I both love to travel, and who doesn't love to go on vacation? When I have time to search for deals and use sites like http://www.vrbo.com/ and http://www.airfarewatchdog.com/ I can score quite a deal! But this is a rough economy, and what do you do if it's just not in the budget?

Been there. During my husband's layoff we were obviously stressed out in financial ways we had never been before, but we finally had the time to take a trip together--my husband hadn't taken any vacation time at his previous job. How do you go on vacation without any money at all??? My husband thought I was crazy, he thought it would never happen--but where there's a will, there's a way! I hopped on vrbo.com and emailed a bunch of house owners explaining our situation and asking if we could trade a week at their house/condo for something in return. That summer not only did we get to go to the beach, we spent THREE WEEKS at the beach! We painted the interior of one condo in exchange for staying there, we painted the deck and outside stairs as well as did a little landscaping for a house on Harbor Island in exchange for staying there (the owner liked it so much she asked us to come back and do more work sometime!) and my personal favorite-we traded a guided turkey hunt with my husband for a week long stay at the owner's condo, also on Harbor Island. This last family was very excited to do something like this that was new to them, my husband got to go hunting for three days and we got a free week vacation-how is that for win-win-win?? All of the rentals had full kitchens so we were able to shop ahead (with coupons of course) and cook for ourselves. Since there is so much do at the beach, we didn't spend any money and we still had some great memories and got some great pictures. They all had internet access as well, so he was able to apply for jobs and continue the search remotely.

Then there is the time we wanted to do a women's retreat at church. I emailed some houses on Fraser Island (super nice but very expensive) and just explained who we were and what we were looking to do and asked what their rates were. Most people gave us the standard rate or a small discount, but one very generous couple offered us their gorgeous 5 bedroom house that rents for $5,000/week for free as long as we paid the island fee that's required (it was extremely small, I can't remember how much). Then the sweet owners sent us flowers while we were there, and this year invited us back again for free!

As many of you know, my husband and I just went to the Dominican Republic to celebrate our 5th anniversary. We've been planning on going on this trip since I found I was pregnant with our first child four years ago, and so we started saving our sky miles, which we used to get the flights. We bought a pop-up camper last spring in the hopes of taking camping trips with the kids but they just didn't sleep well in it. Since we got such a great deal on it, we were able to resell it for $900 more than we paid! We used that to pay for our hotel which was all-inclusive. Then we used our birthday money (both of our birthdays were the week before our trip) to pay for our activities while we were there. And just like that...not a "free" trip, but also not effecting our budget at all!

Now we want to take the kids to the beach next spring, but I will admit I'm a total snob when it comes to beach trips. I will pay more to not have to deal with Myrtle Beach or Florida. The crowds, noise, dirtiness, craziness, it's just not for me. But our favorite beach (Harbor Island) is still quite expensive, so what did I do? I emailed the owners of course! This time I asked if we could get a lower rate if we book an entire month and share the three other weeks with other families. Of course some people still had rates of $3,000/week, I just ignored those. But, I did get several decent offers and the one we decided to go with is just the sweetest family in GA that is letting us rent a 3 bedroom house for only $700/week! That's less than the 1 bedroom condos rent for! (By the way, let me know if you're interested the weeks are first come first served)

It can be done, I encourage you to be creative and see what you can do! I've had several owners tell me that they'd never had anyone make an offer like that before, they thought it was so unique! Maybe you can trade houses with another family or rent out one of your cars for a few weeks to pay for it, you'll think of something if you really want a vacation!

Don't forget to share your creative ideas with me, I could always use some more...